This morning I woke up and wanted to blog again. For those that have read Balancing Today, formally Coffee Cake and Cardio, you’ll know a lot of my backstory. I started writing here on April 6, 2011 and a whole lot of life has happened since. You can look and see through the archives how different my life is now, which is honestly the biggest thing I’ve struggled with, letting go of my past and owning my present.
My name is Ashley. I live in Maryland and have worked in higher education full-time for 14 years. I am married to Neal (8 years in July 2020) and have two beautiful kiddos who are 5 and 2. I blog to share my story, document my experiences, and create accountability in my own life. Since having a second child, I’ve had a really hard time juggling our daily routine and prioritizing my own health. I’ve gained weight, lost weight, and gained it back again. I’ve been in this cycle for 2.5 years and today I can tell you, I feel pretty horrible physically.
I’ll write about a lot of things here on Balancing Today, but at it’s foundation, I use this space to write about weight loss. I haven’t written here as much over the past 2 years, for a gazillion reasons, but the main reason is that I’m ashamed of who I am at this point in my life compared to who I once was. Instead of allowing that shame to drive me, I’ve made it my prison. Sure, I have a lot I’m juggling, hence the name “Balancing Today”, but there are a lot of healthy people who juggle a whole lot as well. For me, in my stress and through my schedule, I go the easy route. Instead of waking up to workout before the kids wake up, I sleep. Instead of staying away from the snacks in the office kitchen, I eat when I’m not hungry to relieve stress. Instead of tracking what I eat and committing to a diet, I just eat when I want. Instead of going to bed early, I work late and use food to create energy for my 4th shift.
We, much like many across the globe, are home with our kids 7 days a week due to the Coronavirus. The past 3 weeks has opened my eyes to so much. One realization I’ve had is that now, more than ever, we have the ability to focus on ourselves. For me, the excuses I’ve used these past few years just don’t exist anymore. I’m not commuting to work, which means I don’t have to have 2 kids ready for daycare and out the door by 7AM. I also don’t have to cram our evening routine (dinner, baths, bedtime) into the hours of 6:30PM-8PM. This time home has given me just that, time. Time to take care of myself and time to take care of my family. It is a scary time, especially as an asthmatic, but I am extremely thankful for the 4 walls my family and I can be together in.
I am really excited to blog again. I love writing and the outlet it is for me. Being home 24/7 leaves you with little outlet, so I hope this blog can be as much of an escape for you as it is for me. What I want, in order to write freely, is to be honest. To share the woman I am today. I am not where I want to be, but I know how important the given day is. Especially now, more than ever.
