As I sit here today thinking about my health, goals, and flexibility, I am so proud of how much I have grown over the years. I am an emotional eater and at a very young age I learned to use food to cope with my emotions. Emotional eating isn’t just around negative emotions, I also learned to celebrate, show gratitude, and love with food.
As a child, the reaction was for me to diet. I grew up during the “low-fat” craze and first joined Weight Watchers around age 10 to help me learn healthier eating habits. I know that my parents were supporting me as best they could and I am grateful for that! Over years of chronic dieting however, I developed a really unhealthy relationship with food. I had a laundry list of foods I “could not eat” or foods I “had to keep out of the house”. This simply lead to binge eating when those foods came into the picture. I hated every ounce of that cycle and it took me years to develop a healthier relationship with food. Owning my body and what it takes for me to be healthy doesn’t always come easy, but every year I mature and learn a little bit more about myself and what healthy means to me.
Part of that growth meant not diving right into weight loss after having my second child this summer. After having my daughter 3 years ago, I put so much pressure on myself to lose weight and to get my body back to a place where I felt comfortable. It wasn’t a healthy process and I learned a lot about myself through that year. This time around I wanted to be patient. I wanted to focus on my new baby, my 3 year old, and breastfeeding. I am proud of myself and for the patience I have had with my body. I’ve spent many days feeling uncomfortable about the weight I gained through this pregnancy, but I knew it was important for me to focus on healing and feeding my baby before thinking about weight loss.
This Friday Kinnick will turn 5 months old and I’m just weeks away from returning to work full time after 3.5 months of working part time. January marks a fresh start in many ways, but for me, it’s like a breath of fresh air! I’m ready to define our new routine, with 2 kids in daycare and 2 full-time careers. I’m ready to lose weight and to feel like myself again. I’m ready to push myself in my workouts and to set new goals. I am ready!
I joined Weight Watchers over a year ago and although I did not follow the program while pregnant for obvious reasons, I remained a member. I don’t want to quit and I know that the Weight Watchers community is important for me because I am an emotional eater. Tomorrow I will talk more about the new Weight Watchers program and what it means to me, but I’m really thrilled about the new Weight Watchers Freestyle program. I know that it will help me to feel like my best self and to lose weight. Having freedom and flexibility while working to lose weight is really important to me, because I know how negative diets can be when restrictive.
I have a lot of weight to lose, but I’m ready! It’s going to be an adjustment over the next few weeks, as I settle into the new Freestyle program and balance out the holidays, but it’s a great time to adjust. As always, my plan is to share my experience here on Balancing Today. It scares me, embarking on another quest to lose weight, because I have failed so many times, but my ultimate goal is to be consistent. I don’t care if it takes me 5 years, I just want to be consistent and not quit!
Neal and I hope to have another baby, so for me, 2018 is my time to focus on me and to return to my healthiest weight before we try to get pregnant again. You’ll see plenty here on Balancing Today, but also be sure to follow me on the Balancing Today Instagram. There you’ll see photos of what I’m eating and check-ins through my “Stories”.
If you’re a Weight Watchers member, I’d love to connect with you! If you’re not on Weight Watchers, I still hope my story can be helpful! It take a village and I’ve always appreciated knowing that I’m not alone!
