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Balancing Today

Learning To Balance It All

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in Everyday Life

Life Lately

Life has been a little out of control these past few weeks.  I usually pride myself in being able to manage all of the balls in the air, but holy moly, these past few weeks have been a whole new ballgame. Just this morning Neal and I were talking about how much harder the transition to two has been for us than we thought it would be. Sure, it’s hard balancing your time among two kids, but what’s even harder is navigating two full time careers, life’s little emergencies, our side hobbies, personal wellness and health, the household (hello dishes and laundry), friendships, and the never ending to do list. All while trying your hardest to make sure your two little kids are your top priority.

Part of my “problem” is that I am putting my kids first more than ever… and I’m ok with that!  I may not answer personal e-mails or text messages very quickly or tackle as many house projects as I’d like, but I’m having an amazing time watching my children learn and grow.  It’s the best!  There’s nothing I want more than to be with my children.

Again, it’s a weird place to be in.  To be happier than ever with your family and children and yet to be incredibly stretched thin with everything else you’re responsible.  Here’s a little dive into life lately…

Bridge
Our Little Family

We are having an absolutely wonderful fall, knocking things off our fall bucket list left and right.  The weather has been all over the place, but I have a feeling the cooler temps are around the corner and here to stay.  I also celebrating my 33rd birthday last week, but more on that later this week!  I can’t wait to share more about that day and my thoughts on the year ahead.

It’s easy for Neal and I to feel like ships passing in the night, but we’re definitely doing the best we can.  We both have our list of things to tackle each day and have our temporary routine semi figured out.  We’ll change quite a few things up come January when I am back in the office 5 days a week and Kinnick is in daycare, but we’re doing a pretty good job with our current schedule.

Magnolia is a high energy whippersnapper and I can’t wait to celebrate the holidays with her this year!  She’s soaking up the world around her, and now more than ever, I’m excited to broaden her experiences!  Kinnick is doing equally as good and is growing like a weed!  I’ve lost track of how many weeks old Kinnick is (2nd kid problems), but it was fun seeing him hit the 3 month mark a few weeks back.  He’s outgrowing his 6 month clothes already!!! So I’ve been keeping an eye out for 9 month clothes and am prepared to have him in 12 month clothes to kick off the new year.  I’ll confess, I don’t mind one bit having a tall son!  I hope he keeps growing and I can’t wait to see what he does has he gets older!  Same with Miss Magnolia!

Park
This week I’ll be putting the finishing touches on Magnolia’s Halloween costume and I’m really looking forward to going Trick or Treating with the kids and our neighbors next week.  There’s not much better than enjoying an iced cold pumpkin beer and good laughs while parading your kids around the neighborhood in costumes!

Kinnick picks and chooses which night he wants to sleep through the night, so some nights i’m up twice a night and other nights he lets me sleep until 5AM.  This morning he slept until 6AM!!! But I didn’t go to bed until almost 1AM, so it was a wash.  We have transitioned him to his crib though and he’s doing much better sleeping there.

All in all, the kids are doing so well.  Neal and I are just laughing as we go and are trying to make the most of our time together.  It isn’t easy, working full time and raising 2 kids, but I really am grateful for the way we split the daily duties and routine.

My Own Wellness

Where do I start? It’s funny how stressful life can be at times and yet how equally amazing it can be on the other hand. I’m just going to throw it out there this one time, but work is unbelievably stressful right now and utterly exhausting. If I could begin to share how many hours I am putting in a day from home, when I am technically on maternity leave, you’d laugh. I am beyond exhausted and I think most of my stress boils down to the work I am having to do while I am on part time leave. It’s just a lot and far from what I had planned out before having Kinnick.  It’s upsetting on one hand and on the other hand, it is what it is.

The stress has definitely impacted my wellness as I’m not sleeping well.  I have one of those brains that doesn’t like to stop processing and work is consuming me (it’s not good).  I’m staying up far too late working and am still getting up 1-2 times a night to feed Kinnick, depending on the night.  It’s not pretty, and I am know I need to get more sleep, but it has been a vicious cycle of only having a few hours to get things done after both kids go to bed and then having to get up to feed Kinnick.  As a result, I’ve really struggled to get up to go to OrangeTheory.  Having a break from workouts wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s still hard to miss that time for myself and for my own wellness.

OrangeTheory Workout
This weekend I sat down with my calendar and created a plan! Work is what is it, but I need to regain my wellness. I organized everything we have going on from now until January 2 and created a realistic schedule for myself. I am going to try something new these next two months, working out at OrangeTheory at 5AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then going straight to work. I had been working out on Mondays and Fridays at 5AM when I’m home with Kinnick, but it’s just too much! I think this routine will work much better and hopefully can be something I maintain after going back to work 5 days a week, we’ll see.

I also decided to try out Stroller Strides this week. I attended my first class this morning and it was really awesome! I loved working out with other moms and having Kinnick right in front of me. It was great! I don’t know if I’ll sign up for classes these last 2 months of maternity leave, but I do think it’d be a great way to meet other moms and to get out of the house more. I’d go Mondays and Wednesday mornings with Kinnick if I decided to sign up.

Working out is really important for me, so I want to get things back in order. I really love OrangeTheory and am hopeful this new schedule will work better for me. Fingers crossed.

My Body Image

Man, the postpartum body is a tough one. I’ve said this many times, but on one hand I am so incredibly proud of my body and all it has done. One the other hand, I’m out of shape, overweight, and uncomfortable. I am trying really hard to be patient, to focus on breastfeeding, and to track and measure what I eat.  It was really important to me to not think about weight loss the first few months postpartum, but I am definitely feeling more energy and motivation to work on my habits, to be more disciplined, and to lose the excess weight.

Homemade Countdown Calendar
We’ve got a family vacation coming up in a few months, so to keep me focused and motivated, I created a countdown calendar. I love having a visual, which is on my fridge, and something in the near future to work towards. I don’t have specific goal, but I know I want to feel better and better each week. I want to be healthier, happier, and over time, lighter.

Lane Bryant Red Lace Dress
Feeling good in my body, in this moment, is important to me, so I have been buying a few new pieces at Lane Bryant and having been trying to put more time into my appearance. I’m doing it for me and that feels good! This weekend I bought this GORGEOUS red dress at Lane Bryant and I can’t wait to rock it. I don’t know where to just yet, but I’m going to wear it as much as I can this winter and holiday season.

Coffee
Ultimately I am trying to be kinder to myself, to establish healthier boundaries, and to make the most of my time on maternity leave. I am studying for my personal training certifications and am scheduled to take the exam in late January. I’m really excited to see what door may open because of this, but for now, I’m just focused on studying for the exam and soaking up all I’m learning. I want to be better for myself and I want to help other women live healthier, more fulfilled lives.

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I'm Ashley, a full-time working mom who lives in the Washington, DC area. Balancing Today is all about learning to balance family, work, wellness, and most of all, life's simple joys! Read More!

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We often get lost in not being where we think we s We often get lost in not being where we think we should be. I wish I was making more money! I wish I lived somewhere else! I wish I was healthier! I wish I had more friends. 

Through all this wishing, we lose our connection to where we truly are in this moment. We lose our ability to assess and to take action towards change. 

Where you are going is still to be determined. If you want to make more money, consider a side gig. If you wish you live somewhere else, start researching where you want to go. If you wish you were healthier, start journaling your days and see where you can make small changes. If you want more friends, consider the ways you can during a pandemic (join the app Clubhouse, seriously).

You are in control of what you do next! Don’t get stuck wishing you weren’t where you are now. You can change your future. 

You are 100% where you are meant to be.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been holding my breath al I’ll be honest, I’ve been holding my breath all winter. I kept thinking my annual seasonal depression was around the corner, and guess what, it wasn’t! 

With spring officially a few weeks away, and 60 degree days on the 10 day forcast, I feel like I can finally shout from the rooftops, “I DIDNT HAVE SEASONAL DEPRESSION THIS YEAR”. And that’s saying a LOT considering my battle with infertility. 

So what made this winter different? Well, it was a few things. 

1. I took organic CBD twice a day, every day! CBD relieves my anxiety and depression and gives me the mental freedom to process the things that once brought me to tears or threw me into a depressive spiral. On CBD I am calm, relaxed, and in control. 

2. I joined Green Compass as an advocate. Having a community of people to talk to, being able to help other people find the CBD products to support their health needs, supporting my team to reach their goals, and making really good money lifted a weight from my shoulders. Green Compass has filled my cup in so many ways! 

3. I was home. I wasn’t commuting. I wasn’t getting in my car when it was dark, sitting in an office without windows all day, and leaving work when it was dark. I am forever thankful for being able to work from home this year. 

Without a doubt, I am healthier because of CBD. To have a winter without depression is incredibly powerful. If you have seasonal depression, daily anxiety, ongoing stress, or trouble sleeping, I’m here for you! Let’s talk.
With spring around the corner, I think we could us With spring around the corner, I think we could use some pampering!! 

To mark the start of this new season, I am personally gifting a Greek Compass self care bundle with some of our most popular products. 

☀️Shine CBD Roll-On
☀️Soothe CBD Topical Cream 
☀️3 CBD Nano Jellies 
☀️CBD Bath Bomb

FOR 1 ENTRY
-Follow me @BalancingToday 
-Tag 2 friends in the comments below 

FOR EXTRA ENTIRES
-Share to your stories and tag me (1 entry)
-Become a new Green Compass customer with me (2 entries) 

Winner will be randomly selected on Sunday, March 14, 2021 and announce here on my Instagram.
Confession. I love buying books but I’m horrible Confession. I love buying books but I’m horrible at creating the time and space to actually read them! The stack of books next to my bed (and on my bookshelf) is ever growing, so each morning I’m taking 15-30 minutes to sit down and read. I’m currently rereading Atomic Habits, which I HIGHLY recommend!!
Sometimes we are so focused on the end goal that w Sometimes we are so focused on the end goal that we lose sight of the process. The process isn’t perfect. The process isn’t clean. The process is just that, “a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end”. 

Allow yourself to live in the moment. To see and believe how this moment and this day is a step towards your end goal. No matter how today goes, it is a part of your growth and who you are becoming.
I’ve been trying to share more photos of me. Not I’ve been trying to share more photos of me. Not me 10 years ago, 3 years ago, or even 2 months ago. Me, today. 

If this life has shown me anything it’s that we are unbelievably hard on ourselves in the present moment but then deeply miss the person we once were. 

I don’t want to look back in 5 years and be like, gah, I miss the Ashley from 2021. I wish she wasn’t so hard on herself. If only she knew then that her body supported her through infertility and a global pandemic, skinny jeans would come back in style, and that Green Compass really did change her life.

I also don’t want to look back and say, I should have treasured x, y, z when I could have. This time has reminded me of loss and the importance of treasuring what and who you have in your life, right here and right now. 

So this is me. Waking up early to read and write before my family wakes up and our day begins. Taking time to invest in me and to value who I am today.
I’m doing a lot of change ups! One of those chan I’m doing a lot of change ups! One of those change ups is no longer using my phone as my alarm. The alarm wasn’t the issue, but within seconds of waking up I was looking at my work email, Instagram, and Twitter. Within moments I was filled with anxiety. It has been an awful way to start day each morning. Though I’ll still keep my phone in our room, I’m so excited to break this cycle. To wake up to an alarm and to distance myself from the things that stress me out. I splurged on the @hatchforsleep and can’t wait to tell y’all about my experience.
I woke up early yesterday, journaled, read, and li I woke up early yesterday, journaled, read, and listened to Clubhouse before my kids woke up. 

We all got ready for the day, I took my son to daycare, my daughter started virtual learning, and Neal and I started our work day. 

Our routine went well and the day was smooth, but after lunch I started feeling blah. No rhyme or reason, I just started feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, and discouraged.

A year ago, this wave of thoughts would have paralyzed me. Instead, I really thought about what was going on, what triggered me, and gave myself the space to process. Most importantly, I worked to stop the lies and story I was telling myself in the moment. I know that CBD is what allows me to be able to process everything now!

It isn’t always this easy, but I now recognize my thoughts and feelings. Yesterday, I wrapped up the work day, changed into my workout clothes, went for a run/walk, listened to Clubhouse when I was driving to pick-up my son, watched the sunset, and made a healthy dinner. 

I know I’m not alone in these waves of emotions. What helps you to turn your day around when you can?
Finding joy, peace, and healing in the little thin Finding joy, peace, and healing in the little things. For me, that’s usually found in nature. This sunset was the perfect end to the day light hours. I just love a good sunset.
Anytime I have to write a bio I struggle. Who am I Anytime I have to write a bio I struggle. Who am I? What is my identity? How do I best describe myself? 

Before I had kids, my answer was easy. I felt really confident in who I was and how to describe myself. 

When I became a mom, I wasn’t ready for the identity shift. I figured you’d just tack “mom” onto the front of your bio and the transition would happen seamlessly. 

Instead, it’s been 6 years of adjusting, learning, reconfiguring, and exploring. I’ve had to let go of pieces of me that used to be front and center and make room for new things. I wasn’t expecting such a huge identity shift, but here I am, 6 years later, and still figuring it all out.

All of this is to say, it’s ok if you don’t feel like yourself right now. Its ok to feel unsettled and uncomfortable. It’s ok if you don’t know exactly who you are anymore. It’s ok to still be figuring it out. It’s ok to miss the old you. It’s ok to want to break out and find yourself again. 

You’re not alone. I’m right there with you.

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