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in Everyday Life

This Season of Life

Back in July, not long after having Kinnick, our pastor stopped by to spend some time with Kinnick and me.  During her stay we talked about our family’s first 2 weeks with Kinnick, Magnolia’s transition to big sister, and I was able to share a little bit more about my own life.  I talked about the rape, my excommunication from the church I grew up in, and the years that have since followed.  I can’t say it’s easy talking about my past, but I recognize that so much of where I am now is because of where I was then.

As we continued to talk, she talked to me about life’s seasons.  Seasons to mourning, seasons of joy, seasons of repair, seasons of renewal, and seasons of hope.  I have been through many seasons these past 8 years, but her words gave me hope and made me think about the season I am currently in and the seasons to come.

Rain
Over the past year or so, I have been in a season of renewal.  I faced the reality of my past and have worked towards moving further away from that season of pain.  Facing my reality was a lot to process, but I am so grateful to no longer live in the shadows as a rape victim.  To acknowledge the things that happened, how they have impacted my life, and how they have shaped who I am today.

I hate what that man took from me 8 years ago, my joy, spontaneity, and trust in other people.  He took away my spirit, and in all honesty, I’ve struggled to redefine myself since that horrid day.  I’ve wanted so badly to be who I was before the rape, but I am forever changed by that night.  It has taken me a long time to accept that I can’t go back to before, but I can move on and write a new chapter.

October marks a year since I faced the reality of what happened to me in 2009 and reported the crime.  The season of renewal that last October marked was a long desired season and I am very grateful to move past the season I had lived in, whether I admitted it or not, for the previous 7.5 years.  The highs and lows that I’ve shared over the past 6.5 years here on this blog, specifically in regard to my health and desire to break away from my unhealthy relationship with food, almost all have a tie to the season of pain I have long tried to move away from.

Fall
Next month I turn 33, and as I look at all this past year has brought me, I can see the new season I have moved into.   I have entered a season of conversion.  A season of alteration, modification, remodeling, and resolution.  A season of change.

This past year was all about facing my past, opening my heart and allowing people back in, supporting Magnolia’s transitions to a new daycare and preschool, and becoming a mom to a sweet little boy.  Kinnick’s arrival marked a new chapter.  An uncharted chapter.  These past few months have been hectic, unorganized, lonely at times, challenging, and at the same time, absolutely joyous.  I don’t have life as a mom of 2 figured out just yet, and fully understand that it’ll take some time to find a new groove.  It’s just going to take time to adjust to being a working mom, having a toddler in preschool, taking care of a newborn, keeping our house afloat (hello endless laundry), giving my marriage the love and attention it deserves each day, and defining my own wellness at age 33.

I see this season of conversion as a time to do things differently.  A time to wipe the slate clean and to let go of what has worked and hasn’t worked in the past.  I have entered an entirely new season of life and the ability to do things differently is empowering.  I know that I don’t want to feel like I do now for a long time.  I want to feel great in the body I am in, to feel confident in the balance I am creating for my family, to find disconnect from technology in order to focus on the simple things, and to ultimately redefine balance as a mother of two.


Change is always difficult at the start, but I always love the feeling of looking back and seeing how different things are from where you began. I wasn’t always proud when I looked back at my years since 2009, but I can now look back and see the strength I had and how I’ve adapted to the trauma. I am so grateful for the life I have now and I am eager to continue to move forward in this season of conversion.

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I'm Ashley, a full-time working mom who lives in the Washington, DC area. Balancing Today is all about learning to balance family, work, wellness, and most of all, life's simple joys! Read More!

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1 year ago I was severely depressed, lonely, and l 1 year ago I was severely depressed, lonely, and lacking purpose! Finding CBD and Green Compass changed everything. I am filled with joy and peace, I have become friends with women who really care about me, my life, and my goals, and I have a crystal clear purpose! 

Today is the Green Compass Play Big Conference and I’m so excited! New products are launching today!! 

If you’re feeling empty, lack purpose, need to make extra money, or would benefit from all the ways CBD helps the human body, trust your gut! Send me a message and let’s talk!
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Do what you can. Take care of yourself. You’re not alone!
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Heart Card (middle) represents what is currently residing in my heart and tells of deep longing, calling, or conflict✨The Tear - Droplets of letting go! Appears when there is grieving yet to do, and once acknowledged, will bring a shimmer of clarity to our dewy eyes.

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Over the past 46 days I have made incredible new friends, have helped men and women start using an organic CBD they can trust, made enough money to pay for an Airbnb getaway for my family, and have seen first hand how many people out there just need help! 

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If you’re needing to make extra money and don’t know where to start, let’s talk! 

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Start a side business for YOU! Start a side busin Start a side business for YOU! Start a side  business to invest in YOURSELF! Start a side business to make YOUR own money! Start a side business because YOU want the joy that comes from helping others! 

Investing in yourself and joining Green Compass could truly be the best decision you ever make for yourself. Is it normal to be scared, nervous, and even insecure before starting a side business? 100%! What I can reassure you is that I’m going to help you every step of the way! You will have a mentor, a friend, a business partner, and a cheerleader from the moment you message me! 

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Heart Card (middle) represents what is currently residing in my heart and tells of deep longing, calling, or conflict✨The Prayer - “Prayer leads us beyond our ego. We are in a state of prayer any time we are not the center of our own thoughts.”

Root Card (bottom) represents my grounding and current state✨The Shaman - “This card reminds us that the force of healing is ultimately not our own. We must shape it and share it with the world.”
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