Time and time again, my children show me how strong, resilient, and adaptable they are to change. That my worry is not their worry.
This was a big week for our family, as we watched our daughter turn 3 yesterday and begin a new preschool program. Leading up to the week, I was nervous. I was nervous about the change, how my daughter would feel entering a new school and adjusting to a new routine.
If I had to put money on it, I could have sworn the transition would have been filled with tears. Instead, it was filled with joy, excitement, and an early bedtime for an exhausted little 3 year old. Magnolia was a rockstar! Time and time again, this little girl reminds me that she’s stronger than I’ll ever be. That as a mother, I take on her emotions, or at least the spectrum of emotions she could possibly feel. I try to think through ever possible thing she could think, feel, or want and try to prepare her and myself for those emotions.
Leading up to her big day, Neal and I talked through the new routine, prepared her backpack, talked to Magnolia each day with excitement for the new adventure before her, and woke up anxious and excited for what the day held for our sweet little girl. We snapped a few pictures, said our goodbyes, and off she went, happy as ever! It was her who was scared or nervous, it was me. I was anxious. I was sad. I was worried about the day ahead. I was her mom and felt as every mother feels as they send their child off on a new adventure.
Parents are amazing and this week once again reminded me of the waves of emotions parents go through as we watch our children learn, grow, and change. It never gets easier, but each change, stage, and age teaches me to trust, to have faith, and to remember that my fears are not her fears. That at the core of a child is a level of adventure, wonder, and faith that simply requires a parent’s love, trust, and support.
I am so excited for this little girl. For all that she will learn and how she will grow each day. Seeing my daughter turn 3 reminded me to soak it all in, to live in the moment, and to reconnect with the parent I want to be for her. For me, my kid’s birthdays are not only a day to celebrate them, but also a day to re-evaluate myself, my parenting, and the life I am providing for my children.
I am still adjusting to our life as a family of 4, but over this next year, I hope to provide my daughter with more experiences, more adventures, and more opportunities. As she begins to develop memories of her childhood, I want her to look back one day on all the fun she had, on the adventures we went on, and the bond the 4 of us had. My fear as a working mom is that she’ll look back on my absences, on her life in daycare, and will have few memories of me from a young age. Those are my fears and I know that that is not what she’ll remember. Yesterday I was reminded that she is stronger than I will ever be and that my children will continue to teach me and stretch me. I am grateful for the lessons these little wonders will provide me as their mother. I love them with all of my heart and pray for their growth, knowledge, and safety each day.
Happy birthday my darling. I am proud of you and am grateful for the chance to watch you grow!
