Early this morning, and by early I mean 3AM, I woke up on the couch in a fog. It took me a few minutes to put all of the puzzle pieces together, but clearly I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching The Bachelor (I love the hot mess that is The Bachelor) and didn’t wake up when Neal nudged me to head upstairs to go to bed.
Next thing I know I hear a few loud bangs, which honestly scared the crap out of me, and realized that’s probably what had woken me up to begin with. I headed upstairs and heard the loud bangs again, knowing very well by then where the sound was coming from. I opened Magnolia’s door and there she was, wide awake, happy, and banging her heals against her crib.
“Mommy, Mommy! Change Dipes?”. I stood there for a second, facing the reality that my 2 years old was wide awake at 3 in the morning. “Mommy, Mommy! Go downstairs?”. For a second I contemplated just walking backwards slowly and shutting the door. Maybe since the lights were off she wouldn’t realize it was actually me! Maybe she would just talk herself into going back to sleep! But there she was, my happy little girl, 3AM or not, she was happy to see me.
I’ve seen various people online say that after a long day they’re eager for their kids to go to sleep (me, me, me!), but after they fall asleep you miss them. It’s so true. As much as I hated the reality that my daughter and I were both awake at 3AM, that I could have slept for another 3 hours, and that my day was going to be painfully long, a big part of my heart was excited to see my baby.
Here we are at 8:03PM, I’m holding out to watch This Is Us, Magnolia is literally running around the first floor of our house while Neal chases her with a toothbrush topped with toothpaste, and I can’t help but think, this is our crazy, amazing, hectic reality and I love it.
Days like today remind me that I can only do so much, that days never go as planned, that I have to ask for help, and that most things can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, I will not cook dinner, I will not clean my house, and I will not do any office work. Tonight I will relax, with my glass of
wine water, I’ll get a good cry out while watching This Is Us, and I’ll go to bed.
Tomorrow is a new day… and if Magnolia wakes up again tonight, it’s my husband’s turn.