I have an interesting relationship with running. You see, I absolutely dreaded running up until I lost 50 pounds back in 2006. Before 2006, running reminded me of just how unhealthy and out of shape I was. Running brought out my weaknesses and made me feel like less of a person. It isolated me from my peers in gym class, limited by abilities on the soccer field, and made me insecure. Running was something I hated and I never thought I’d learn to love it.
In 2006, as I worked to change my lifestyle, I decided that it was time to learn to love something I dreaded. I could barely run for a few minutes when I first started, but I built up to running for 20 minutes straight in just a few months. I learned how quickly the body adapts and how capable I was of doing something I thought I hated.
Running nowadays reminds me of how far I’ve come and what I can achieve if I just trust my body and work hard. I am still overcome with fear when I run, but it’s no longer running that I’m scared of…I’m scared of what running reminds me of. Running takes me back to a time when I felt isolated and incapable. Although running is still challenging for me mentally and physically, I run because of how incredibly liberating it is for me now as an adult. Sure it takes a lot of work, both mentally and physically, but I love how I feel when I push through my fears and tackle a long run or race. It reminds me of how far I’ve come.
Now that I’m feeling more comfortable postpartum, I’m ready to start running regularly again! Although I don’t have any races on the docket yet, Neal and I are looking to add a few races to our list this spring and summer. My goal this time around is to work on running without stopping. I’ve really relied on intervals these past few years (running for a set amount of time and walking for a set amount of time), so this time around I’d love to work on running without walking. I really love intervals and what they’ve allowed me to achieve, but I think I use walking as a crutch because I’m scared to push myself.
I’m still working on my training plan and calendar, but I’ll share that with y’all once I have my races picked out. I’m working to balance weight lifting, running, and spin and don’t really want to sacrifice one over the other, so it’s just taking me a while to create a balanced plan.
I haven’t felt this way in a while, but I’m just hungry for more. I want to get into great shape again and it’s nice to have this fire in me. The athlete in me is hungry for more, so I’m going to fuel the fire!