A blog is a window into someone’s life. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out if a blogger is happy, sad, stressed, motivated, or overwhelmed. You can usually piece together what a blogger is saying, or not saying, and get a sense of where they’re at in their life.
A few weeks ago I was talking to Neal about Coffee Cake and Cardio and just how blah it had become. I wasn’t writing about weight loss, I wasn’t writing about fitness, I wasn’t writing about Magnolia or Neal, and I don’t write about work. My directionless blog was a direct reflection of my directionless life, and it made me realize just how unsettled my life is right now.
You see, I am in such an interesting place right now. I am the happiest I have ever been thanks to our beautiful Magnolia (which I don’t often blog about in order to protect her) and yet I feel as though I’ve lost my sense of direction as I’m dancing between the life I established before Magnolia and the life I want to have now.
In many ways I’m redefining my life and it’s a tough crossroads to be at. I’m thinking a lot about who I am, who I want to be, how I spend my days, and where I want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. Never before has quality of life meant so much to me and I’m trying to figure out how to live the life I want to live while also balancing the life I’m already living. The sad thing is, money, career, and location can really dictate the path your life takes, so I’ve had to find ways to navigate those three things while also shaping my life.
I’ve realized these past few weeks that it’s going to take time to change the big things, but what I can change now is my day to day. I can slow down, remain organized, focus on caring for Neal and Magnolia, and work to better myself. I can work to focus on the things I love and make the decision to stop wasting time and energy on things that pull me away from the life I want.
It’s hard realizing that your life isn’t where you want it to be, but it’s also an amazing realization. It’s only then that you can start to take the steps to change and to transform your life into the life want to live.