After getting married in July 2012 I knew I wanted to wait at least a year before having the pregnancy talk. I wanted to enjoy my time as a newlywed and wanted to take on playing football for the DC Divas.
Our plan was to start trying to get pregnant after football season ended in August 2013, but when the time came I just wasn’t ready to get pregnant. Football had consumed my life from October 2012-July 2013, leaving me desperately craving a relaxing fall season. I also wanted to give myself a few months to lose some weight before trying to get pregnant, so Neal and I agreed on October.
Well October arrived and I still wasn’t ready. I was really enjoying the routine Neal and I had fallen into and I became scared of disruppting that. I also hadn’t lost any weight, which really discouraged me. Again Neal and I talked about it and decided that the winter might be an ideal time to start trying. I was incredibly scared but knew I needed to stop allowing my fears to stop me from something I’ve hoped for for so long.
In the fall I learned that two of my friends had been diagnosed with cancer and that really threw me for a loop. Both are my age and healthy! Why had they been handed this obstetrical? Their diagnosis, along with turning 29 and seeing Neal’s and my parents get older made me remember how precious life is. There was no promise of me getting pregnant right away and the fall made me remember how precious each day is.
When the cold air rolled in I was ready (most days). I was still really scared of gaining too much weight, but I had to put those fears to the side. I reached a place where I was at peace about trying to get pregnant and was committed to being as healthy as possible, with the goal of losing a little more weight before getting pregnant… little did I knew we’d be pregnant 3 weeks later!
Starting a family was definitely a process for me. I was emotional, scared, overwhelmed, and fearful, but you know what, it was all worth it! Since getting pregnant I’ve had to let go of control, which is really hard for me. I think I had such a hard time “getting ready” because I like control. What I’ve learned is that with pregnancy and children, I just have to let go of most control. Yes I can plan, but plans don’t always go my way, and that’s ok! The things I can control include loving my husband with all of my heart, making our house a home, eating foods to grow a healthy baby, working out to stay in good shape, and just enjoying each and every moment.
I’m still scared at times, but the moments when I’ve just let go (dating, getting engaged, getting pregnant, and being pregnant) always end up being the best moments of my life!
