This past weekend I was cleaning out a closet and came across a box of my journals. I used to journal pretty regularly, but that quickly transitioned into what you read here daily a little over 2 years ago.
The journals I found were filled with wedding plans, daily food logs, and thoughts about my life at the time. Sometimes it’s fun to look back on what I was thinking and going through, but what surprised me the most was my body weight over the course of those journals.
I shared last week that back in June I hit my highest weight since losing 50 pounds back in 2006, but going through the journals made me realize that my weight has really been higher than I’d like for quite some time now.
Blogging has really made me focus on my weight, a lot more than I ever use to. Now that’s not to say that I wasn’t focused on losing weight and getting in better shape, but I never use to weigh myself as much as I do now. I hated the scale, so I’d really go months without weighing myself.
Looking back I think I was more focused on how I felt, how my clothes fit, what my eats were like, and how much I was working out. Now a days, I’m just so focused on what the scale reads.
Going through journals and seeing my weight over the course of time really helped to give me some perspective. It made me really think about what’s in a number…
September 15, 2009 – 232.4
July 1, 2010 – 231.4
August 21, 2010 – 226.0
November 20, 2010 – 213.6
April 16, 2011 – 222.0
May 26, 2011 – 217.2
November 29, 2011 – 227.2
March 26, 2012 – 229.4
June 11, 2012 – 225.2
July 25, 2012 – 229.8
October 2, 2012 – 222.4
January 3, 2013 – 230.6
March 1, 2013 – 227.2
June 3, 2013 – 234.2
July 3, 2013 – 228.2
It was good to look back at my weight over the past 4 years, not only numerically but visually. I know that my body is so much stronger now at 230 than it was back in July 2010 at 230. I have a lot more muscle now and am in much better shape!
Also, just by looking at the photos, I can think back and remember how I felt at that point in my life and at that weight. I never, ever feel good when I weigh 230 or higher. I feel uncomfortable and overweight. As I get into the 220s I feel better, but I still want to lose more. Each time I’ve been below 220, like in November 2010 when I weighed 213, I felt like I was on top of the world.
Yes my goal is to get below 200, but looking back over the past 4 years helped me to remember how great I feel when I’m at least below 220. It was just the motivation I needed and am really hoping to get out of this 2 year slump/plateau I’ve been in.
I want to feel better in my body and to get back to a weight I’m more comfortable with!