If I could label our state of the union in one word it would be “transitional”, which I’m sure every growing family can relate to. My first week postpartum was definitely a blur. The week was filled with highs, lows, and plenty of emotions, but I’m so grateful Kinnick is here, I’m thrilled to be home, and I’m glad we’re starting the adjustment process as a family of 4.
Here’s a peek into our current state of the union…
This kid is the sweetest kid! He is a really good baby, which is saying a lot because I thought Magnolia was a really good baby. Obviously, every day is different and as he gets older things will change, but our first week together was really wonderful.
Kinnick LOVES to sleep. I didn’t realize how alert Magnolia was as a baby until Kinnick entered our lives. Kinnick only cries when he’s hungry or when we’re changing his diaper, so we’re thankful we’re able to resolve both pretty quickly. Kinnick is a great eater, sleeps really well when he sleeps, and is doing good in the digestion department. All blessings on the newborn front. There isn’t anything we’re doing, he’s just a good kid!
Our first 5 nights together were really good, with Kinnick sleeping 3-4 hour stretches and eating for an hour in between. The past few nights haven’t been as smooth, with Kinnick cluster feeding from 11PM-1AM, and then again in the 3-5AM hours, but we’re finding our groove.
All in all, Kinnick is a VERY good baby and is doing really well! His facial expressions are just the best!
All new moms cry. ALL. The hormone changes are real and can make you cry for any reason. Magnolia has been my reason this week. Magnolia has had a hard time adjusting to my new role as mom of two and is slowly warming up to baby. I was never worried about her adjustment to big sister, figuring she’d slowly but surely get more and more comfortable with Kinnick. She started out unsure, but now comes up to the baby to pat his head and to say hi and bye. We’re still working on kissing the baby and getting her more comfortable being around him, but she’s doing well.
On the other hand, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me this week, which was really hard. Her first visit to the hospital was hard, as she was really scared by her surroundings, and seeing me in a different setting. I figured it was just the hospital, but even after coming home she wanted nothing to do with me. She wouldn’t let me pick her up, help her with various things, or put her to bed. If I attempted to help her, she’d instantly ask for Neal. To say I was iced out would be an understatement.
I know this reaction is common and I know she’ll adjust, but at 1 week postpartum, it has been hard. I miss us and I miss our pre-Kinnick relationship. It’s hard not being needed by her and I constantly wonder what she’s thinking or feeling. The best thing for her has been maintaining her routine and sending her to school. She’s absolutely loves going to school and I’m glad she has that space during the day. I am definitely trying to give her more 1:1 time and to make sure she knows she’s a priority, but it is hard when the baby is hungry and I’m the only one who can feed him.
I know it’ll get better each week, but week 1 was hard!
I have absolutely loved seeing Neal become Kinnick’s dad. He just adores his son and their bond is very special! Neal has really held down the fort, taking care of Magnolia, making sure I’m doing ok, and helping me with Kinnick when I need to step away for various reasons. Neal is a very calm person and it’s in these seasons of our life that I’m so incredibly thankful for his peaceful spirit.
Neal is home with me postpartum this next week and then he’ll head back to work next week. I’m not looking forward to his return to the office, but it’s a transition we’ll eventually need to go through and work out. I am so thankful for his help. I love him very, very much!
In quick summary: Breastfeeding is going really, really, really well! I don’t do the best job of napping during the day when Kinnick does, but I’ve been able to get pretty good sleep at night when Kinnick is sleeping. I really miss my relationship with Magnolia. I’ve enjoyed being home, but I’m also itching to get out of the house a bit as I move into this next week. Despite having 5 more weeks of full maternity leave, I’m already emotional about how short the leave is and how quickly it’s going by. I’m lucky to be going back part time, but I’m sad to only have 5 more weeks with Kinnick before jumping back into my working mom role. I am completely smitten by Kinnick!
All in all, I’m doing well. Miss Magnolia definitely pulls at my heartstrings, but our first week as a family of 4 was good. It’s a little scary thinking about all of the logistics we need to figure out now that we’re juggling 2 kids and 2 careers, but I know we’ll figure out a new routine in time. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and to really live in the moment. Even thinking about going back to work in 5 weeks at this point is absurd, so I’m really trying to just enjoy these moments with Kinnick, to make sure Magnolia knows how special she is, to treasure the time at home with Neal, and to make myself a priority.
I’m looking forward to the week ahead. It’s nice having delivery a little further behind me and to see my body heal more. All in all, I’m feeling good physically and am adjusting through the postpartum emotions.