Life has been a little out of control these past few weeks. I usually pride myself in being able to manage all of the balls in the air, but holy moly, these past few weeks have been a whole new ballgame. Just this morning Neal and I were talking about how much harder the transition to two has been for us than we thought it would be. Sure, it’s hard balancing your time among two kids, but what’s even harder is navigating two full time careers, life’s little emergencies, our side hobbies, personal wellness and health, the household (hello dishes and laundry), friendships, and the never ending to do list. All while trying your hardest to make sure your two little kids are your top priority.
Part of my “problem” is that I am putting my kids first more than ever… and I’m ok with that! I may not answer personal e-mails or text messages very quickly or tackle as many house projects as I’d like, but I’m having an amazing time watching my children learn and grow. It’s the best! There’s nothing I want more than to be with my children.
Again, it’s a weird place to be in. To be happier than ever with your family and children and yet to be incredibly stretched thin with everything else you’re responsible. Here’s a little dive into life lately…
Our Little Family
We are having an absolutely wonderful fall, knocking things off our fall bucket list left and right. The weather has been all over the place, but I have a feeling the cooler temps are around the corner and here to stay. I also celebrating my 33rd birthday last week, but more on that later this week! I can’t wait to share more about that day and my thoughts on the year ahead.
It’s easy for Neal and I to feel like ships passing in the night, but we’re definitely doing the best we can. We both have our list of things to tackle each day and have our temporary routine semi figured out. We’ll change quite a few things up come January when I am back in the office 5 days a week and Kinnick is in daycare, but we’re doing a pretty good job with our current schedule.
Magnolia is a high energy whippersnapper and I can’t wait to celebrate the holidays with her this year! She’s soaking up the world around her, and now more than ever, I’m excited to broaden her experiences! Kinnick is doing equally as good and is growing like a weed! I’ve lost track of how many weeks old Kinnick is (2nd kid problems), but it was fun seeing him hit the 3 month mark a few weeks back. He’s outgrowing his 6 month clothes already!!! So I’ve been keeping an eye out for 9 month clothes and am prepared to have him in 12 month clothes to kick off the new year. I’ll confess, I don’t mind one bit having a tall son! I hope he keeps growing and I can’t wait to see what he does has he gets older! Same with Miss Magnolia!
This week I’ll be putting the finishing touches on Magnolia’s Halloween costume and I’m really looking forward to going Trick or Treating with the kids and our neighbors next week. There’s not much better than enjoying an iced cold pumpkin beer and good laughs while parading your kids around the neighborhood in costumes!
Kinnick picks and chooses which night he wants to sleep through the night, so some nights i’m up twice a night and other nights he lets me sleep until 5AM. This morning he slept until 6AM!!! But I didn’t go to bed until almost 1AM, so it was a wash. We have transitioned him to his crib though and he’s doing much better sleeping there.
All in all, the kids are doing so well. Neal and I are just laughing as we go and are trying to make the most of our time together. It isn’t easy, working full time and raising 2 kids, but I really am grateful for the way we split the daily duties and routine.
My Own Wellness
Where do I start? It’s funny how stressful life can be at times and yet how equally amazing it can be on the other hand. I’m just going to throw it out there this one time, but work is unbelievably stressful right now and utterly exhausting. If I could begin to share how many hours I am putting in a day from home, when I am technically on maternity leave, you’d laugh. I am beyond exhausted and I think most of my stress boils down to the work I am having to do while I am on part time leave. It’s just a lot and far from what I had planned out before having Kinnick. It’s upsetting on one hand and on the other hand, it is what it is.
The stress has definitely impacted my wellness as I’m not sleeping well. I have one of those brains that doesn’t like to stop processing and work is consuming me (it’s not good). I’m staying up far too late working and am still getting up 1-2 times a night to feed Kinnick, depending on the night. It’s not pretty, and I am know I need to get more sleep, but it has been a vicious cycle of only having a few hours to get things done after both kids go to bed and then having to get up to feed Kinnick. As a result, I’ve really struggled to get up to go to OrangeTheory. Having a break from workouts wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s still hard to miss that time for myself and for my own wellness.
This weekend I sat down with my calendar and created a plan! Work is what is it, but I need to regain my wellness. I organized everything we have going on from now until January 2 and created a realistic schedule for myself. I am going to try something new these next two months, working out at OrangeTheory at 5AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then going straight to work. I had been working out on Mondays and Fridays at 5AM when I’m home with Kinnick, but it’s just too much! I think this routine will work much better and hopefully can be something I maintain after going back to work 5 days a week, we’ll see.
I also decided to try out Stroller Strides this week. I attended my first class this morning and it was really awesome! I loved working out with other moms and having Kinnick right in front of me. It was great! I don’t know if I’ll sign up for classes these last 2 months of maternity leave, but I do think it’d be a great way to meet other moms and to get out of the house more. I’d go Mondays and Wednesday mornings with Kinnick if I decided to sign up.
Working out is really important for me, so I want to get things back in order. I really love OrangeTheory and am hopeful this new schedule will work better for me. Fingers crossed.
My Body Image
Man, the postpartum body is a tough one. I’ve said this many times, but on one hand I am so incredibly proud of my body and all it has done. One the other hand, I’m out of shape, overweight, and uncomfortable. I am trying really hard to be patient, to focus on breastfeeding, and to track and measure what I eat. It was really important to me to not think about weight loss the first few months postpartum, but I am definitely feeling more energy and motivation to work on my habits, to be more disciplined, and to lose the excess weight.
We’ve got a family vacation coming up in a few months, so to keep me focused and motivated, I created a countdown calendar. I love having a visual, which is on my fridge, and something in the near future to work towards. I don’t have specific goal, but I know I want to feel better and better each week. I want to be healthier, happier, and over time, lighter.
Feeling good in my body, in this moment, is important to me, so I have been buying a few new pieces at Lane Bryant and having been trying to put more time into my appearance. I’m doing it for me and that feels good! This weekend I bought this GORGEOUS red dress at Lane Bryant and I can’t wait to rock it. I don’t know where to just yet, but I’m going to wear it as much as I can this winter and holiday season.
Ultimately I am trying to be kinder to myself, to establish healthier boundaries, and to make the most of my time on maternity leave. I am studying for my personal training certifications and am scheduled to take the exam in late January. I’m really excited to see what door may open because of this, but for now, I’m just focused on studying for the exam and soaking up all I’m learning. I want to be better for myself and I want to help other women live healthier, more fulfilled lives.