I haven’t known how to start this. How to find my voice and start writing again. I know that in order to find my joy and passion for writing again I have to be brutally honest, write regularly, and speak from the bottom of my heart without fear of opinion or judgement.
So, here I am!
What I know is this, I need to hit the reset button and start a new chapter. Somewhere along the way I lost my voice and stopped feeling like myself. It wasn’t just one thing, it was many things. I started adding more and more to my plate and never took anything off. I started giving more and more of myself to others but wasn’t always getting the same in return. I struggled with my priorities, but more importantly, I struggled to prioritize myself. I was doing everything I could to make it all work, but it just wasn’t working.
These past 5 years have been filled with so much joy, but also with a lot of pain. I’ve gone through a lot personally, things that have forever changed me. I have so much to be thankful for, but what I’ve come to realize is that I just don’t love myself the way I used to. Somewhere along the way I stopped loving who I was and who I had become. I stopped doing the things that made me laugh, smile, and feel like my best self. Sure I did some of those things, but week by week I found myself being overrun and overworked by the lifestyle I had created.
These past two years I’ve tried to make it all work. I’ve created new routines and shifted schedules around, but instead of a healthier lifestyle, I found myself in a place of burnout and poor health. I couldn’t wrap my head around why it wasn’t working, especially as I was checking all of the boxes. I would wake up early, do whatever I could to make my kids’ lives full and joyous, workout for stress relief, try to eat healthy, bust my ass at work, work from home when I couldn’t get everything done between 9-5, and made attempts to maintain/make friendships with the little time I had left. I was checking off all the boxes, but man was it ugly.
The truth is, it’s still ugly. I don’t have the answers but I want to find them. I want to figure out what’s not working, why it’s not working, and start to move the needle towards the life I really want to live.
If you’re ready to follow a woman who doesn’t have it all figured out, you’ve come to the right place. What I know is this…
1. I need to find myself again… not the Ashley from 2008, but the Ashley in 2019.
2. I need to turn my health and wellness around!
3. I need to protect myself, my time, and my heart
4. I love my husband and want to invest in our best us
5. I want to give my kids the world
6. I want to make our home a healthier place to thrive
7. I love helping others be their best selves because it bring ME joy
8. I must figure out how to do 1-7 without losing myself again
It’s going to take time, but it feels good to set my intentions and to rip off this band aid. I’m not who I used to be, but I’m invigorated to see who I become.